D.U.M.F. Membership
Pick your library card.
Both get you into the reading room. Only one gets you into the back.
Library Card
Free, but limited.
- ✓1 full reading per day
- ✓Base deck of 15 regional cryptids
- ✓AI-illustrated cryptid plates
- ✓Real annotated map of hiding spots
- ✓Shareable field report page
- ✓Unlimited archive & leaderboard browsing
Come back tomorrow. Ms. Ethel will be here. She's always here.
Night Watch Pass
One-time. Forever.
- ✓Unlimited readings, every day
- ✓Expanded deck · 40+ rare cryptid archetypes
- ✓🎧 AI-voiced librarian narration of every report
- ✓Downloadable high-res field report PDFs
- ✓Priority access when the library closes early
- ✓Ms. Ethel remembers your name (probably)
Secure checkout via Stripe. No subscription. No renewal.
Frequently Whispered Questions
Is this real?+
Define 'real.' The cryptids are a municipal concern. The map is real. The annotations are our professional opinion. We stand by them. Mostly.
Why does the librarian sound so tired?+
Ms. Ethel is 73 years old, works unpaid overtime, and has personally catalogued every Parking Lot Wendigo in the tri-county area since 1987. She is fine. Leave her alone.
Will I actually find a cryptid?+
The Department of Unverified Municipal Fauna cannot guarantee sightings. It can only note that many patrons report a faint smell of pennies after visiting the indicated locations. Do not make eye contact.
Can I get a refund?+
The card catalog does not recognize the word 'refund.' Please file an inquiry via postcard. Address unknown.