The Library, The Librarian, and The Files

The Department of Unverified Municipal Fauna was established in 1949, in the basement of a county courthouse that has since been demolished, replaced, and demolished again. The department survived both demolitions. We do not know how. We do not ask.

Branch 47-B — the branch you are currently patronizing — is run, as it has been for fifty-one years, by Ms. Ethel Varnish, head librarian and the sole remaining employee with a valid security clearance. She is seventy-three. She has never called in sick. She has seen things that cannot be photographed and has catalogued them anyway, in careful pencil, on acid-free paper.

The files here are public record. The cryptids are regional. The maps are accurate to within one-eighth of a mile. The annotations are, in Ms. Ethel's professional opinion, correct. She would like you to note that “professional opinion” is a phrase with legal weight and that she is not interested in discussing it further.

Readings are limited to one per patron per day because Ms. Ethel closes at five, cannot reasonably be expected to work overtime, and has a cat at home named Marmalade who is diabetic and needs insulin at six-fifteen sharp. The Night Watch Pass exists because some patrons have been very insistent, and because Marmalade's prescriptions are not cheap.

Do not run in the library. Do not eat in the library. Do not speak to the thing in the 398.2 section. If you see something, say nothing. File it in writing.

— Ms. E. Varnish, Head Librarian
Department of Unverified Municipal Fauna, Branch 47-B